Grief.

Firstly, I'm sorry for the miserable posts this past few days, but I write what I feel. What I feel now is pain.
When you've had a companion since you were ten and brought him as soon as you moved house, that house becomes empty when he passes away. Even my Bear misses him. She's been looking for him all day.
I find myself happy one minute then devastated the next. Laughing at the funny or naughty things he did and then horribly guilty for putting him to rest. Grief is a horrible thing.
To be honest, I don't know why, if there is a God, that he made us so fragile and then make us conscious of missing someone. Cruel joke I think. Made us too...aware.
I'm sat in bed waiting for my panics to stop so I can sleep, I'm SO tired. My eyes are swollen from tears and my legs are like jelly.
I wanted to visit my dad today and have fun but all my body wants to do is curl up and sleep. Shame my brain doesn't.
It's times like this that I don't understand how religious people believe in an all loving spirit. Why do the innocent suffer and the guilty not?
If there is a god, or many, I think they need to re-evaluate their life plans. Because I see no rewards for good. Heaven better be bloody good and he better be looking after my family.
Especially my Pippin.
N.

RIP, My Pippin.

Never felt such heart wrenching sadness in my life.

I couldn't go in with mum to watch him, I panicked and went outside with dad, Ben went in with her, crying. That kindness is the reason he's my soulmate. There's no one else in the world with a bigger heart than him.

Pip loved him too, even when we thought he couldn't recognize anyone, he always went to Ben. Chased him and tried to bite his foot xD

This sadness is ...there's no word for it.

Pip was my best friend and my little baby. He'll always be remembered as the little Jack Russell who used to bite my feet and lay with when I was sad.

I'm glad hes at peace and no longer suffering. I'll carry that burden until we meet again.

I love you puppy, I always will. You are the best friend I'll ever have. See you soon, love mum xxx

Pip.

Had loads. Finally they've stopped. The feeling is starting to come back in my legs now and I can walk better. Thank God.

People have been so supportive today, its really helped me cope. I'm a nervous wreck but I'm trying to be a strong person. If I can.

He's my best friend, had him 6 weeks after my tenth birthday, which turned out to be his birthday too!

I love Pip more than I can even say. He's my angel. Don't know what I will do without him. He's been there sat on my lap through every heartbreak I've ever had.

Every time I've cried he's come up and not left my side 'til I'm feeling better.

He's everything good in the world and he deserves only the best. The fact he's suffering is killing me inside. I have to strong for him, this is our final favour to him for being the best friend we could ever have.

I love you with all my heart Pip, I always will.

Tomorrow's the day we put my 16 year old Jack Russell to sleep. He's been suffering a lot the past month and last night had a massive seizure. My mum and dad can't watch it Amy more. And neither can I.

Can't stop crying. I feel horrible. I'm terrified of seeing him slip away. Had about 5 panic attacks in the past hour. Wish they'd stop. It's really not helping :'(

I love you Pippin, forever and always XxxxxxxxX

My Geek badge xD

Where I got it from XD

http://www.cafepress.co.uk/bedhairshop.655163064

OMG BEAR

That stinks! D:

Farted right next to me while she's asleep and it reeks :(

PS My shop is up and running ^.^

http://www.bedhair.co.uk/

Will be starting a CafePress shop in the morning :D

http://www.cafepress.com/bedhairshop