Lot going on!

Hey guys, another update here:

There's a lot going on now; the manuscript has been sent off and I'm looking for more agents that I take a liking to if this one falls through. The guy who runs the Work programme I'm on (for people with problems getting and keeping work) has suggested it might be a good idea to go self-employed if I want to be a writer. He thinks that my work with image restoration could be a little business for me as I try to get into writing and that I could have been making money from it for a while. Truth is: I never even thought of that! I didn't really think I was good enough to do it but people keep telling me I am.

So I'm taking a course on self-employment in September (nervous!) and we're gonna see about taking a small course in Photoshop, just in case there's anything I miss and I can get a certificate in it.There's a lot to think about lately but that's good for me; the more I have to think about, the less I'll be thinking about panic attacks. Haha.

Had a pretty nervous day today, it hit me for no reason this afternoon and then I realised what it was; I had forgotten to eat breakfast four hours ago and my body was letting me know it does not approve. Strange reason to panic, I know. Then again, the microwave is a strange reason to panic but that didn't used to stop me xD Ah the mind of a neurotic person works in mysterious ways!

Update again when I have more, hope you guys are having a good week,

NX

Submission letter...

Done my synopsis for my manuscript's submission letter to the agents, now to write the letter itself. Very nervewracking since I have had a huge fear of the unknown which I'm working on now, spent too long procrastinating over this, it's time to finally give it a go.

Even if I get a million rejections, I will have come further than I ever have to doing something that I really want to do. It's a massive step forward and I won't let rejection stop me, everyone gets rejected to some extent, hopefully I will learn more as I go.

I'm learning new things this year, figure there's nothing stopping me, I'm also learning how to play the piano and read sheet music, well technically I'm teaching myself thanks to music books but I'd always wanted to learn the language of music but never had the concentration to try for long. Think my motto for this year should be, 'Never give up!'

Nx

p.s

Airplane 2 is really good for cheering you up when you're a bit down xD

Back!

I'm back again :)

It's been a while since I posted last, I've not really had much time for long blogs, I've had such a stressful few weeks that I thought it's better I left it otherwise I'd have just spend the past two weeks swearing about people. 

I did have a nice week when I bought Dishonoured, because it's nice to escape from the humdrum to do something interesting :P

 I'm currently trying to work up the courage to send off my submission letter to an agent (I finished the book) but with my confidence being at a low at the moment, I've been finding it really hard. 

I know that in May, I was on top of the world, I had just gotten engaged (not sure if I've mentioned that or not but yeah, he proposed) and so I'm bound to have a low period, which is what I'm going through now but everything's driving me crazy. 

I can't remember the last time I saw anyone around me actually smile. It's really bringing me down at the moment. I just want to grab my dog and take her to somewhere that's as far from here as I can. Just so I can be cheery and happy without someone bringing me down.

I'm having a hard enough time as it is trying to keep myself cheery with the HELL of a two weeks I've had; I've had to sort out so many problems that aren't anything to do with me, then come home to the same thing Every. Single. Night. and I keep getting this image of me doing the same thing every night for the next 40 years and it terrifies me to be honest xD No one even pretends to be happy. At least I try to look happier than I am XD 

Literally gave me a panic attack this afternoon. Are people supposed to feel like that about their lives? 

I'm thinking I need to do something to shake it up a bit, so I can feel happier with myself. First thing is getting this book sent off, the sooner I sort out my writing life, the sooner I can sort the rest of it out. 'Cos you need money for everything, I hear xD