Good first session of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Thought i would spell CBT out because people have been congratulating me on having my bike test haha xD I don't hate the world enough to drive on public roads, they don't deserve that xD

It was interesting, she wants to find out which anxiety disorder I'm suffering from at the moment; either health anxiety or Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or both. She says they treat them in different ways so I've got to see which I relate to more. Interesting. The exposure therapy works with some disorders but not others. My task is to not ask for reassurance this next few weeks when I'm feeling anxious, I literally have to ride it out by myself and can't ask anyone's advice because it makes it worse.

It's really scary to have a panic attack about something like thinking you've found some deadly health symptom and not checking it, Googling it or asking a family member about it. Basically I can't so anything that would cause it to go away, just gotta sit through it untold it ebbs away. Extremely hard but I'm giving it a go! Will write about my progress as I go. Hope you guys are well, NX

Off for my first session of CBT.

Thought it would do me some good lately with how things have been and with my anxiety acting up.

Need to learn how to speak my mind instead of being silent and letting people walk all over me. Had my first experience of it yesterday when I told someone who had been causing problems exactly what I thought of him. I felt guilty at first because I rarely speak badly to people but afterwards I felt better. It's a good feeling having more control of your own life and what you'll put up with.

So going to tell my CB Therapist that I have trouble with voicing my opinions and also about my anxiety, it gave me a lot of confidence last time I had CBT, and I got rid of a lot of things in my life that weren't going well. I felt so much better; free.

Hopefully I'll get that confidence back again. There's a lot going on at the moment and so I could use a spring clean :)

NX

Prison.

You know there's something wrong with our prison system when there's a program on prisoners and they preferred life inside prison rather than out. What happened to the days of bread and water and an empty cell? Do people that commit crimes deserve TV and luxuries?

Obviously the government thinks they do.

Favourite Quote of Charmed.

Dear Phoebe, If I'm dead right now, I know it was at your hand. No one else in heaven or hell had Power over me. Please, don't cry. I was dead before I met you. I was born the day you loved me. And my love for you will keep me alive... Forever Love, Cole