Waiting for someone and reading my appointment letter for a CT scan on Thursday, thinking of all the horrible things they are going to find in my head; brain tumour, cancer, aneurysm etc. Even though they've told me they are 99.9% sure I'm fine....I just realised that I've spent my whole 26 years worrying about my life being cut short by illness or someone breaking my heart and leaving me alone, instead of actually living it.
I don't have much enjoyment in my life because I'm too wrapped up in my problems and worries....not to mention everyone else's....so what if I died tomorrow? My memories would be of me worrying about death or heartbreak. How boring is that?
Maybe I should forget about death for a while and stop being scared of someone breaking my heart and just live.
Doesn't have to be sky diving or bungee jumping but why not start with going out on a warm day like this and enjoying myself? Not thinking about health worries, or guilt for having fun and not letting people bring me down?
Sounds like a good start to me. I've been so worried about my health and a deteriorating relationship that I'm not living my life. Everyone else around me is, while I'm sat here waiting and worrying about the world. Well balls to them, I want to have some fun!
My health worries can bugger off, my relationship problems can join them and that spider that I know is in the bathroom but I can't find can leave me the Hell alone xD gonna be selfish for a while.
Live a little. Like the love of my life, Max Beesley (XD XD) says, we're here for a good time, not a long time.
Ps. Sorry about my bad spelling, wrote this on my phone....which hates me xD
NX
It was good to read this post. Bad things can happen regardless how much a person plans against it so we may as well leave that burden behind. I know my best memories have not happened by chance but by my own choice. I'm pleased for you. You are beautiful, you have a lovely personality, only a fool would want to break your heart. It is a good way to live and something that only struck me last year. This year, I swore to travel England and share the experiences on my blog. I am going to Portsmouth tomorrow. I have never been, but what would we be waiting for? It might rain. It might be sunny. Only one way to find out :)
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