Shadow of the Tomb Raider review.

Shadow of the Tomb Raider review
by Dovahniik

Finally finished it! It is one hell of a game, no doubt about it, but there are aspects that felt a little underwhelming to me. But before I get into that, let's go into detail about the game itself and some of the parts that stood out to me.

Graphically Beautiful 

The first thing you're going to notice about Shadow is that it is a visual masterpiece. Because of the warmer location, the landscape is rich and colourful which is a contrast to the snowy mountain scenery of the previous games and it is beautifully rendered. The main plus point of this game is without a doubt the water. In previous games, the water has been pretty much bland and uninhabitable but in Shadow, not only can Lara swim but large portions of the game is played deep underwater. The water itself is also the most realistic I've seen so far in a game and it's a pleasure swimming through the crystal clear lakes and watching the light filter through the waves and leave patterns on the lake beds. Each area seems to have different coloured and styled rivers and lakes: crystal clear, blue-tinged lakes to murky ponds and even ones stained with blood!

Tomb Raider has always been a visual treat as far as main character facial models and this one doesn't disappoint; Lara and Jonah look fantastic and their cinematic scenes are enjoyable to watch. The one downside is that besides the few great main character models, the NPC variety is quite limited. You'll probably be doing multiple side missions for what seems like the same character.

Lara Herself 

Lara's acrobatics in the Square Enix TR have always felt to me like a toned-down version of Underworld Lara; similar but slower and more realistic. Though Underworld Lara's movements were a lot more fluid and fun, it was pretty unrealistic. (Though I must say, I prefer her swimming than current Lara's. It was a little clunky compared to the dolphin Lara of old.)

As far as tools and weapons, she's got a very similar arsenal to what she's had before: bows, single pistols, shotgun and assault rifle and to be honest, I didn't really notice anything too special about them, they did the same job as before. Her pickaxe is yet again her go-to tool and for a lot of her climbing, she uses two of them. She also uses it for melee which again was a little annoying. You can upgrade your weapons as you go through the game, should have you have enough provisions to do so but I didn't really pay attention to that, I just checked if any upgrades were available and upgraded whatever was first on the list.

She can also choose and create a variety of outfits, some that have no purpose and are purely for glamour (such as some of Core Design's skins) and then some that you create with supplies and that have added benefits when wearing e.g. extra XP when hunting or more silent movement. Some of these outfit - called Vestige outfits - are found in crypts and tombs throughout the game.

Plot 

I'll try to keep this quick so I don't ruin the game for anyone who hasn't played it yet but the plot is pretty much on par with Lara's previous exploits in complexity. Lara - on the trail of Trinity members in Peru  - stumbles upon a sacred dagger and impulsively takes it and starts the Armageddon. Simple stuff like that. Obviously it gets deeper and more complex but I don't want to ruin anything. It is a very enjoyable story.

When I first started the game and found that you could do side missions, I felt like it detracted from the game unnecessarily but as I continued I felt that these were a good way of really getting to know the villagers and the civilisations that you come in contact with and eventually you do start caring for them, as does Lara as the game progresses, intensifying the need to stop the series of events that Lara has brought upon them.

Speaking of things that detract from the game, this might be a good place to discuss some of the areas that I found lacking:

Skills 

This is the biggest annoyance in the game for me. I absolutely hated it. In previous TRs I really didn't notice the skills menu too much nor really cared about it, and in this game that feeling was more intense for me. There really is no point in it. The actual menu is visually complicated, it's not easy to see which skills are available to you nor which aren't, the skills themselves are lacklustre and some of the best ones are made available by doing certain side quests anyway, so you never really pay that much attention to it. The XP and skills system is the one part of this game that I felt too closely resembled games like Far Cry for me and it was an added bore that Tomb Raider simply didn't need. I never checked if I had any skill points and I just unlocked them at random as I went through the game. I feel like Lara earning her skills, moves and tools at certain story points would be in keeping with the game a lot more than this method.

The other thing that felt like a bit of a filler was the constant need to collect random bits of 'treasure' that do nothing other than add a bit of XP or give you a map marker for yet another piece of 'treasure'. It's not even difficult to find them because your map (like Far Cry) is full of their locations, so all you're doing is running to that spot and picking them up. Not exactly treasure hunting if you know where the treasure is!

A more enjoyable experience for me was the steles and monoliths that give you clues as to the location of some treasure and you have to go and seek it out. More things like that and less of the random junk scattered across the map would have made the game stand out against all the other games that do the same thing at the moment. So many have these additions that just bloat out the game and after all this time, it can get a bit boring.

Combat

Combat is another area that wasn't particularly innovative. Considering past Lara was extremely acrobatic, the sticking to walls and hiding in designated hiding spots (that magically glow with Eagle visio--err, hunter vision, err, what is it called in this game?) seems a little limiting. Melee is with the axe as I mentioned before and is pretty much just a smack in the face with it. Gun and bow combat is very similar to the other games except for the addition of being able to hang people in trees like the Predator. Kind of cool but I didn't get to do it very much because I'm about as stealthy as a bull in a china shop. I'll be honest, I do miss the jumping and kicking from the other games.


Jonah

I'm giving Jonah his own paragraph because I love him. One of the most memorable aspects of the TR series is Jonah. He's lovable, kind, brave and yet adds the common sense that Lara severely lacks. Their friendship is a light in the (literal) darkness of the events that unfold and I really do love the way they were written.

 I always had this sneaking suspicious that Trinity was somehow connected with the antagonist from the first TR with Trinity meaning 3 and there being 3 Atlantean Gods (Natla, Tihocan and Qualopec), not to mention Lara's visits to both Mexico and Peru in previous games. This scares me because if they do choose to go down the same route, Jonah was not a part of old TR world and if they kill him, I will cry real human tears.

Jonah deserves immunity from any future death ideas and I will actively start that petition myself.

Photography Mode 

This is a really fun addition to the game. You pause it at any point in the game and go onto this mode to take a photo of whatever it is you're doing. You can take selfies with Lara and change her facial expression, you can add filters and borders, zoom in and out and pretty much manipulate the image as much as you want to before taking the shot. It doesn't affect the game in any way so you can snap to your hearts content!

Conclusion

I'm going to try to wrap up my feelings of this game and it's difficult because I tend to focus on the points I don't like more than what I do like. I think that's because the parts I do like are pretty much the same as they were in previous games, apart from the water and swimming, which is wonderful. There really hasn't been anything innovative or fresh besides that in this game for me. Not that that is a bad thing as the others were also enjoyable games. The problem is, half of the game feels filled with bloat that, instead of building the game up, hinder it from really feeling fresh and exciting. For the most part, you can pick up exactly where you leave off in the previous TR and know exactly what you're doing.

If you want an open-world game play experience, an entertaining story with a very familiar feel, this game is for you.  But if you wanted or expected something unique in the present day gaming market, then Shadow of the Tomb Raider just misses out. It's just a little too similar to previous games and games like Far Cry and Assassin's Creed for me to really make my jaw drop.

In any case, I'll look forward to seeing what they try for the next one!

Thanks for reading, nobbers!

DovahNiik

Stroke and diabetes.

A few weeks ago now, I was texted with the information that my dad had had a stroke that morning so after a few panicked phone calls I ended up in the emergency room with my dad who had indeed suffered a stroke. This was one of the scariest moments of my life. After losing my mother in 2012 to a brain bleed, the idea I could lose my dad too was too much for me. 

Luckily, dad was awake and responsive, but had lost control of his right arm, leg and facial muscles. After a few hours he was given his own ward while we waited for his MRI results and he chatted with me pleasantly as best he could. I went home to my husband and cried my eyes out. Not a wink of sleep was had in our house that night. 

The next day, I went in to visit him and got there at the same time as my older sister and we were shocked to find that dad was speaking gibberish. He was saying sentences of entirely the wrong words. This shocked us as he'd spoken fine the night before. We panicked, thinking that the MRI results would possibly come back with a tumour or something scary. We wouldn't find out for another two days that dad's results came back fine - it was just a stroke, no tumours or bleeds - so those two days of limbo were Hell on earth for a family that had already lost its mother. 

The one thing that did come up in dad's tests was that his blood sugar was abnormally high (I think it was 17) and the normal range is somewhere between 4-7 I think, depending on if you've eaten or not. After a fasting glucose test (where you don't eat the night before and then have your bloods checked) it was determined that dad was diabetic and that it was his diabetes that caused his stroke. 

That blew me away. I had no idea that diabetes and strokes were in any way connect, nor that my dad even had diabetes! I mean, I should have noticed because the amount of cakes and sweet treats in dad's house is somewhere on par with Willy Wonka's factory, but because dad had lost so much weight in recent months, I didn't think diabetes. That led to a considerable amount of research and it turns out there is a lot I don't know about the condition. I really should because dad is now the fifth member of our family to have it and so it's very possible that it is hereditary. 

As with any condition, there are certain symptoms that you will be used to hearing about: drinking more water, being unusually thirsty, frequent trips to the loo, and there are also a few things that you take for granted about it. I always thought that overweight people were the ones that got diabetes or people who ate too much, but it turns out that isn't always the case. My dad lost a hell of a lot of weight after mum died and he looked healthier than ever. He seemed to be making a massive improvement to his health. But in recent months - and I'm just hearing this now from neighbours and friends - he seemed to drop even more weight and his skin took a quite unhealthy colour and he couldn't make it through the day without needing to nap. These are all symptoms of Type 2 diabetes. 

This is an excerpt from the NHS website on the symptoms: 

Many people have type 2 diabetes without realising. This is because symptoms don't necessarily make you feel unwell.
Symptoms of type 2 diabetes include:
peeing more than usual, particularly at night
feeling thirsty all the time
feeling very tired
losing weight without trying to
itching around your penis or vagina, or repeatedly getting thrush
cuts or wounds taking longer to heal
blurred vision
You're more at risk of developing type 2 diabetes if you:
are over 40 – or 25 for south Asian people
have a close relative with diabetes – such as a parent, brother or sister
are overweight or obese
are of south Asian, Chinese, African Caribbean or black African origin – even if you were born in the UK

Cuts taking longer to heal or losing weight? I had no idea about that and I didn't really think of blurred vision either. Now, where diabetes comes into having a stroke. I have found this from Healthline.com: 

Diabetes affects the body’s ability to create insulin or use it properly. Since insulin plays an important role in pulling glucose into cells from the bloodstream, people with diabetes are often left with too much sugar in their blood. Over time, this excess sugar can contribute to the buildup of clots or fat deposits inside vessels that supply blood to the neck and brain. This process is known as atherosclerosis. If these deposits grow, they can cause a narrowing of the blood vessel wall or even a complete blockage. When blood flow to your brain stops for any reason, a stroke occurs.

So in effect, by taking care of your diet, you are also lowering your risk of having other conditions such as a stroke or heart disease. It sounds like common sense now I think about it, but my brain just didn't connect the two conditions together.

My dad is on the road to recovery now, he's in the rehab ward at the hospital and is sat up and talking normally now but the road will be a very long one. Not only does he have his physiotherapy to contend with, but both him and his wife will have to follow a very strict diet specifically designed at keeping his blood sugar stable. He won't be able to eat biscuits, cakes, pies or trifles and will have to figure out new, healthier ways of quenching the sweet-tooth from now on. This is going to be hard and there's no room for complacency. We're all going to have to make those changes alongside him now if we're going to help dad get back on his feet, not to mention keep an eye on our own blood sugar levels as we are close family.

My dad is one of the lucky ones, I know that, and I am eternally grateful that he is in such good hands at the hospital. That is the reason I want to write this. If it at least makes even one person be more conscious of what they eat or get their blood levels checked, then it was worth the time writing.

Before I end, here is the link to the NHS page for strokes, there is some information here on the conditions that can cause them and also what exactly strokes are. I've found it very helpful during this time. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stroke/

Thanks for reading guys and stay well.

NX 

Openreach rant

So, this weekend I’ve noticed an Openreach van outside one of dad’s neighbours houses and they seem to be having a fibre line put in to their house, just like my dad did a few months ago. You’re probably well aware of my dad having a fibre line put in without question (remember that last bit, it’s important in this rant) because I’ve raged about it like ten times since he’s had it done. Why? Because we live in a small village where so far, our regular broadband internet has been limited to 2MBPS and 0.4MBPS upload speed, because no one gives a shit about us and people joke we live in Silent Hill. We’ve invented the wheel finally, what more do you want?

For your information, here is a list of things you can do with that speed of internet:

1. Send an email. Slowly. Might as well send a nobbing carrier pigeon.

2. Watch porn designed on the Commadore 64.

3. Download a font for Windows 95.

Now, in this wonderfully modern age you need at least 3MB internet to even use Netflix, NowTV, Youtube or many other streaming services, never mind in viewable quality, so that kind of service is just balls. Guess what BT charged us for the pleasure of that speed? 27 beautiful English pounds a month. For that. As you can imagine, I raged out. What the fuck can I do with that? Seriously. Think of something I could do with that besides my extensive list. I bet they get better WiFi on the fucking moon.

So, we rang up and tried to sort out getting fibre, which their website told us we could get, but when we spoke to BT on the phone, they were evasive and kept ‘losing’ our notes and complaints. Openreach told us they were coming out to install it at the cabinet and activate our line multiple times and did they? Did they balls. I went out and checked and there wasn’t a single person there - although once there was a dude looking at the box but I think he was taking a piss.

They missed appointments at our house for months on end until finally I raged out again and messaged Dennis Skinner (our MP) and explained the situation. The absolute top-class bloke messaged the head of BT (we know this because the head of BT sent us the transcript LOL) and like magic, our fibre activated and we got 10MB internet but still with the 0.5MP upload.

The Openreach guy that came out actually said to me that every Openreach technician around here hates coming to jobs in the village because of the shitty workmanship on the lines and that it was right in-between two cabinets in nearby towns so speeds were bound to be low. AKA: instead of trying to upgrade them because they own the infrastructure, they just don’t come out for months on end.

Now, I wouldn’t mind actually being able to stream on Twitch or Youtube or even upload a video sometime in the same nobbing day I start uploading it, but I was told that 0.5MB upload is the fastest that is possible to get here in the edge of the universe.

Fast fucking forward one year and my dad leisurely walks up and informs me that Openreach have just come out (he lives down the street from me, DOWN THE STREET) and installed ultrafast fibre broadband to his very house and he’s getting 50MB download and 10MB upload speed for THREE POUND MORE THAN I PAY.

I could feel my arse hurt from the absolute shaft I received the year before from the same company that installed dads without a bloody struggle.

You know what my dad needs a 10MB upload speed for? Uploading videos of him using his superfast fibre and tagging me in them. That’s what. I’m here spending 3 hours uploading a 800mb video of me playing Tomb Raider for my five loyal viewers *waves to them* and my dad has shot to the fucking moon, waving a fucking feather on his fibre speed. The fella is listening to Chinese music on Youtube just because he can. He’s loving life.

So I lost my shit again. Phoned up BT having a waffle and yet again they ‘lost’ my notes and didn’t ring me back. Cue flashbacks to 2000’s Nik trying to get and keep a fucking boyfriend. When we finally got through to them, they had no taffing idea what speed we could get and two days of phone calls trying to figure out why we asked for the best internet available to be given a tossing lump of shit were wasted. Apparently they reckon we could get the higher speeds if Openreach want to do it but we can’t until October because we are contracted for that length of time on this absolute belter of a speed.

Now, I’m a budding streamer that can’t stream. I’m an ‘er’ so really if I want people to watch me game I’m gonna have to drag my PC outside the house and let random passers by have a look. That’s what’s going on.

Now, if you’ve read through this entire thing and you happen to know how to install fibre directly to someone’s house, come and do it at mine. We’ll give you coffee and Ben and Lara are making a cherry pie right now. You can have a bit. Also, if you wanna play Sonic with me you can. Thanks in advance. For the rest of you, this is the reason I can’t live stream.

Openreach and BT, if you are reading this: where my fibre, yo?

 

DovahNiik Plays: Blazing Dragons!

Blazing Dragons (Sega Saturn 1996) is a point and click adventure game starring Flicker the dragon, a lowly servant who wants to win the hand of his secret girlfriend, Princess Flame by becoming a knight. It's very similar in humour to the series Monty Python and has Terry Jones as part of the voice cast, along with Cheech Marin (Cheech and Chong) and Harry Shearer (The Simpsons) as well as absolutely loads of other good voice actors.

I first played this game back when it was released and I was like 8 or 9 years old. I spent 3 days straight trying to figure this out before my mother swapped it for a game that made me less angry *shrug* I have finally found a SS emulator and it was the first game I downloaded when I realised I could.

I'm having a lot more fun this time around, the puzzles are a little obscure but they do have common sense behind them, so they're not that hard to figure out once you get into the swing of what the game dynamics are.

Can't describe how long it took me to get that bloody feather duster from her. Still don't know what it's for. 

It is honestly the most fun point-and-click I've ever played and that's probably why it stuck in my head all these years as a game I must go back and attempt to complete. After all these years I finally figured out how to get the bloody frog away from the pond but I still don't know why I needed to do that, so we'll see. That is a huge part of the game, completing a puzzle because it makes sense, but not knowing what to do with your achievement (it will come in handy much later, usually.) 

A lot of the humour is typically Monty Python style so if you're gonna play this, don't skip over the dialogue. Honestly, it is one of the best parts of it. It reminds me a little of Discworld, but with a little more colour, so if you like that, definitely give this game a go. 

I'm only a few hours in at the moment so I'm not sure what the story turns out as but so far I am loving it. It's a real change of pace from a lot of P&C games these days, I really do think the best ones were from the 80s and 90s! If you're willing to spent all day ruminating over that one bit that you're stuck on or that one item that you just can't combine with the cat or scissors, then give this a go. Let me know what you think! 

NX 

Breaking Bad!

Why I left it this long to watch Breaking Bad, I don't know. Well, actually I do; I have never been that fond of watching drug-related programs or movies as they all tend to be the same, but this is different. Yeah, it's based around two guys cooking meth but it is surprisingly engaging, even for me; the girl who doesn't even know what meth is. Some of its focuses (besides the cooking) are Walt, his cancer, his family, his work, Jesse's issues with his family, Jesse's horrific bad luck every time he leaves the house, Skyler's kleptomaniac sister and her brother-in-law, who is actually a much more interesting character than you first realise, and there's much more to it than even that!

For the past week, we've been watching a few episodes a night and last night we got to Season 2 Episode 6, Peekaboo. Basically, Walt - who is becoming a little bit of a dick IMO - makes Jesse prove himself by finding the drug-addicts who stole from him and getting his money and wares back. But it turns out that the two addicts (that's putting it lightly) have a son and this is the bit that made the whole episode for me. I spent the whole thing bawling my eyes out as Jesse interacts with him as he waits for the boy's parents to return. I should have been in bed early last night but I couldn't tear myself away, it was so gripping. The ending was fantastic and again had me in tears (addict parents are a touchy subject for me) and Jesse well remains on the top of my list of favourite characters, but now for more than his wonderful voice and the fact he's actually quite hot under all those layers of giant clothes. I love his character. 

Walt is obviously a huge favourite since he's so astoundingly portrayed by Gordon Freeman - I mean Bryan Cranston - but I've started to find him selfish and arrogant considering the mess so far is mostly his fault, but I guess that when you're dying, you tend to get a little cranky. I find myself cringing during every interaction he has with his wife; the lies are so weak and even though I know what is actually going on, I do wish Sky would hit him on the head with something every now and again. At this stage in S2 she's very pregnant and I can't remember having the patience she has with him when I was that heavily pregnant. In fact, I'd have been a fantastic drug distributor myself during that period because of my 'take no prisoners' attitude and lack of human empathy. (Joke.) 

Which brings me on my last bit for today - the drug bit. My husband and I are pretty sure that that isn't the real formula for cooking meth because broadcasting it on TV would be pretty unwise (same reason they didn't use the actual Death Cap on Shrooms, I guess) but if it is, then I now know how to make it and if anyone wants to buy it from me, the price is the same as on the show, yo. 

 I'll be back after we've watched the next few episodes and please try to take it easy with the spoilers, though it's been long enough now that it isn't that important. I'm assuming Walt dies, either from the cancer or from pissing off a pregnant lady too much. 

Anyway, have a good one! 

HeisenbergX 

Youtube Videos

As you've probably noticed, I've been posting links to my Youtube account recently. These are for my gaming videos, which I've started doing in my spare time. I've always wanted to stream but with 0.5MB upload speed (thanks BT *rolls eyes*) I can't live stream, so the videos have to do.

So far, I'm doing a run through of Tomb Raider 1996, some of them in my cosplay outfit, although it's a little hot here at the moment and sitting in boots is starting to give me a weird ankle sweat, so maybe I'll do more when it cools down. I'm also doing a play through of Aliens: Colonial Marines as it is one of my favourite games, so heads up if you like that.

Until I get an actual upload speed I'm going to continue doing classic video games but whenever Openreach decide that they actually CAN give me some internet power (as they did my Dad down the street...curiouser and curiouser) then I might start streaming some online games with you guys! I'm not much of an online gamer because of the internet issues so I'm sure watching me destroy myself online would be kind of amusing to witness.

I'm going to go through the entire Core Design Tomb Raider games before I tackle the newer ones so if you're a fan, take a look and if you have any classic game suggestions for me, let me know!

I was thinking of including one of my favourites, that seemed to get overlooked at the time, The Suffering. Interesting game, kind of scary but we like that! ;)

Anyway, hit me up if you have any suggestions!

DovahNiik 
X

Sublime Bronze Fake Tan Review.

An outlet for my rage


I'm going to do something I rarely do; review a cosmetic product. As you may have noticed I am myself a female woman person and as such, I like to prim sometimes. I am also deathly pale (see: Voldemort) and even in the summer I don't really tan on my lower half. Honestly, my body resembles Neapolitan Ice Cream until fucking October, so I buy fake-tan. Usually I buy the cheap and cheerful St Moriz 24 hour fast tan, which you only have to wear for an hour and with me having the patience of a...thing...I love it. Also the tan is nice and brown. It costs like 4.50 pound.

Which leads me into my review for this piece of shit that calls itself L'Oreal Sublime Bronze Elixir. Now, you'll notice a few words like 'innovative' or 'fantastic' or 'bloody awesome best stuff irl' all over the bottle and let me be the first to say that this a the biggest nobbing alternative fact I've ever heard in my life. This shit costs a tenner, which is a bit more than I usually spend on tan because I'm tight-fisted and I'd rather spend it on cheese.

Not Cheese.

It claims to last for two weeks. It claims to have no scent. It claims it gives a golden tan. It claims that it is a superb lover - well, no it doesn't but it would it if could speak because that would be bullshit too. The only thing that it claims that is true is that it does have a nice scent going on; sort of like a posh moisturiser and it also does go on lovely and smooth. If you apply in small circles, it also doesn't streak. You have to apply this shit three days in a row for it to last two weeks, by the way and that is pretty much ALL the info you're given on the back of the bottle. No info on how to apply, when to shower, it's all very shifty. Also, you should draw your attention to the asterisk after the words 'lasts 2 weeks' because it is very important; it says '*instrumental test'. TEST, not tests. Did they only do one?!

Now here's a list of lies that were told to me, a consumer, when I fell for its pretty box and glitter liquid.

Firstly: yes it does have a fake-tan smell after you've showered the first time. You smell like biscuits and curry and secondly: the golden tan is actually ORANGE. As orange as the bloody bottle. You remember when you first starting using fake tan and you bought that cheap non-brand name shit from a drug store? That kind of orange. Even after the first coat. Now it wasn't a huge problem because everyone I know seems to go outside with this level of orange so I felt I'd fit right in and the temptation of not having to apply for two weeks won me over.

After the second coat I felt I was about as orange as I could possibly be without it looking horrific so I applied the third day's coat on the paler, unseen parts of Nik (stomach, arse etc) and it went fine. But it was orange. It stains a little on the hands and feet and knees and this seems to be the only bastarding part of your body that will last anywhere near a week.

I applied it last Tuesday and Wednesday and I'm sat here today, covered in puke because we've got a bug. You know what I'm not covered in? Fucking fake tan. It washed off entirely yesterday. It started to wash off in patches after the first bloody shower I had and I've only had four this week because I wanted to bloody sustain this shit. Didn't work. It's gone.

If you're going to attempt this crap then with each shower you will have to exfoliate because it will come off pretty quickly and in horrible patches. You'll look like a cow or a Dalmatian if you don't. After about four days you might find yourself feeling and looking grimy because of how it comes off and the smell gets a bit gross when you sweat. All in all, I do not recommend this and I'm curious to see what Trading Standards make of its claims TBH. Do not spend a tenner on this nobbing stuff. Unless you want a nice, glass bottle for something but even so, I'd try Poundland first.

If you do manage to make it two weeks with this shit still on, then congratulations! Also do you want to buy 3/4 of a fucking bottle off me because I can't bring myself to use this again. It's giving me rage. Either that or swap for a lovely bottle of St Moriz?

P.S. To St. Moriz I'm so sorry. I got caught off-guard by something pretty with extraordinary promises, please take me back.